Later that day I recalled the incident. It dawned on me that when that car swerved in front of me, I had to make a split-second decision to either walk in the Spirit or in the flesh. That I responded peacefully with a kind attitude toward that driver was a miracle. I could recall similar instances when, in a split second, I was transformed into an angry man with my heart pounding, my body alert, and a stream of nasty words tumbling out of my mouth.

We make many such split-second decisions every day. Without our noticing, other people make choices that affect us and force us into making a decision. We have no control of the incidents around us, but we do determine whether to yield to the Spirit or to the flesh.

When I note that I yield to the Spirit instead of the flesh, I do so with a sense of grateful relief. How positively wonderful it is to know that I no longer need to manage myself by myself! Now I can let God do it – per His request. Take it to the Lord in prayer; He will never leave you nor forsake you.

The Bible tells us, “For it is God who works in you both to will and to do for His good pleasure” (Philippians 2:13).

Consistent living is a matter of recognizing your own personal inability to produce the kind of spirit that you want, no matter how intense your desire. It involves receiving and yielding to the Spirit of Christ.

This story is taken from Dr. Brandt’s book, “Breaking Free From the Bondage of Sin.” The names and certain details in this true case history have been changed to protect each person’s identity and privacy.

This mother was a sincere Christian, and her teenage daughter had been a continual object of her prayers. She could not get Betty to study, do a chore right, get along with her brother, or even eat properly. It was a mother-daughter battle, and it terribly distressed Mrs. Grant. “It’s been very trying, believe me,” she said. “In coming to you, I thought you might help.”

Probing for the cause of the festering trouble, I asked what her feelings were when Betty disobeyed her.

Impatience, anger, and resentment, she confessed. “But in spite of that,” she hastened to add, “I love my daughter very much. Don’t you think I’ve proved this by the torture I’ve been through in keeping to myself the irritation she causes me?”

I guess I shocked Mrs. Grant when I said, “Your bitter feelings toward Betty prove that you do not love her.”

“How can you say such a thing?” she cried. “Doesn’t it take love to carry a cross?”

I opened my Bible to 1 Corinthians 13 and pointed out God’s description of love: Love is kind … and longsuffering. Kindness and longsuffering are fruit of the Holy Spirit produced within the surrendered Christian, I pointed out.

“Hiding your impatience and resentment does not alter the fact that these are present in your heart,” I told her. “These are not the ingredients of love. These are products of our selfish nature. You may pretend to Betty—and to yourself—that they do not exist, but they do!”

Mrs. Grant was very surprised when I traced her anguish to her efforts to act loving rather than to be loving.

“Do you mean that Betty should be allowed to get away with what she does?” she demanded.

“Not at all,” I answered. “Your daughter’s behavior must be dealt with. But before you can deal with Betty, you must deal with your own inner spirit.”

It was months before Mrs. Grant could completely give up her conviction that if only Betty would behave, Mother would be her own sweet self again. It took some time also for her to understand that if she were truly to love Betty, the impatience and resentment would have to be replaced by patience, kindness, and gentleness.

“I’m not capable of patience,” she said desperately one day. “It is so hard to be kind.”

She was right. What was in her heart just naturally came out. But, I assured her, if she repented of her bitter heart, God was ready to help.

She finally dropped her defense and asked God to give her the love she lacked. She discovered God gives all the overflowing love He is asked for, and she could deal with Betty in love, whether or not her daughter responded.

Not surprisingly, Betty did respond and their home is now the happy Christian one it should be.

The names and certain details in this true case history have been changed to protect each person’s identity and privacy.

“I value my Christian testimony too highly to tell people off,” he once told a friend.

From another post near the frozen foods he watched Ethel, his problem checker. Ethel’s customer relations were good, but she could never balance her money drawer. He really ought to take her away from cash handling, but then she’d resent being transferred.

He didn’t quite get to frozen foods before the head of the baked-goods department stopped him. ”We’re over on bread, Gil,” the fellow said. “‘We’ll have to cut to half price to sell it out before closing.”

Black wondered how a man could be so dumb about gauging the needs of his department.

Everyone at the store thought Gil Black was a very nice man to work for, but a slow burn was going on inside him. He never found fault; he simply swallowed his discontent.

But what was this bottled-up resentment doing to him? At home, he was crabby; he lashed out at his family in even the smallest matters.

“Why am I so nice to people at the store and so mean to my family?” he asked me.

Was he being nice to his employees by not addressing their mistakes? He concealed his anger at the store, but like an overloaded steam boiler, he blew his top at home.

“You’re a Christian,” I said. “You need to learn the meaning of 2 Corinthians 9:8, “And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work.”

”Why not be just as gracious as you appear to be?” I asked.

He had never thought of it that way. In Christ, grace was available for him to meet every situation honestly and graciously. Now Gil no longer swallows his anger and makes his family suffer for it. Instead, in a gracious manner that stems from a duly gracious spirit, which he sought and received from God, he lets people know what he expects of them. He now runs his store with a firmness that has increased his stature as a manager and a Christian.

The names and certain details in this true case history have been changed to protect each person’s identity and privacy.

The boss took credit for a thing if it worked, and if it didn’t, he blamed Bart, who thought it only natural that he had grown to dislike the boss.

One day, a man in Bart’s department made a foolish mistake and the big boss said the man was through. He ordered Bart to do the hatchet job. Bart was furious.

He stormed into the office of his boss and began to chew him out for “cluttering up our perfectly good design.” That was a mistake. Bart was shifted to another department. He found his new boss was not a tinkerer, but this man was a driver. He pushed Bart to work faster. Bart was in the same old tense rut, reacting angrily to his boss.

Slowly, he began wondering if maybe something wasn’t wrong with him. He decided to let an outside ear listen in on his problems. So he visited the Christian Counseling Clinic. Over a period of weeks he vented his story. The more he talked, the more he saw that whenever he was asked to do something he didn’t agree with he began nursing a new grudge. “What’s the matter with me?” he asked.

As a Christian who knew the Bible quite intimately, he was able to answer his own question. “The Bible says, ‘Whatsoever you do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men’ (Colossians 3:23). I’ve been working for myself and for men, not for God.”

Mr. Nolan could see that he had acquired the habit of sulking if things didn’t go his way. He asked God to help him realize his superiors did have a right to give orders. If he did not think the orders were correct, he could express his opinion. But having done so, he knew the final decision was not his to make.

Bart Nolan experienced many starts and stops in his new attitude. But over the months, he became a genial man. Knowing the boss would insist on having his way, he studied the boss’ ways so he could produce what was expected.

Now Bart knows that God helps him do his work “heartily, as to the Lord.” The result is a growing contentment in the same work that once upset him.

[The names and certain details in this true case history have been changed to protect each person’s identity and privacy.]

[Go to Discover Inner Peace]

In the course of five years, Calvin had come to wonder whether a commitment to the Lord actually meant anything. The inconsistencies he observed made him wonder.

“I think I’ve had all the Christianity I want,” he added.

About a year after he learned of his uncle’s double standard of living, Lane was even more shaken by an act of his pastor. The minister who had been his Christian ideal for many years was arrested on charges of embezzlement.

He often thought about his uncle and the pastor, but did not permit his disillusionment to deter him from entering the Lord’s work. He became bookkeeper for a Christian service organization. He found happiness in the things the organization did in the name of Christ.

After three years, Calvin Lane was made personnel director. This put him into the inner circle. The jealousies and intrigue he discovered there brought all his old disillusionment back.

“If we’re going to live like the world, why weigh ourselves down with Christian ethics?” he asked.

I had to admit that there are hypocrites in the church – and once-sincere persons who have drifted from God’s ways. “The Apostle Peter was one of these,” I said, “and Judas betrayed Christ. None of the Twelve was an ardent follower in Christ’s great hour of trial. But Jesus never said to put your trust in a disciple.”

I referred him to Romans 14:12, “So then every one of us will give account of himself to God.” That helped him let go of his bitter attitude. He saw that he had been judging Christianity by phonies. When he accepted his own responsibility—which was his relationship to God—he dedicated himself anew to serving the Lord.

On the other side of the coin, the unchristian lives of many Christians that nearly caused this young man to abandon his faith should make every believer search his life to see if he dares say with the Apostle Paul in Philippians 4:9, “Those things, which you have both learned, and received and heard, and seen in me, do.”

The names and certain details in this true case history have been changed to protect each person’s identity and privacy.