Peace does not come in capsules! This is regrettable because medical science recognizes that emotions such as fear, sorrow, envy, resentment and hatred are responsible for the majority of our sicknesses. Estimates vary from 60% to nearly 100%. Emotional stress can cause high blood pressure, toxic goiter, migraine headaches, arthritis, apoplexy, heart trouble, gastrointestinal ulcers, and other serious diseases too numerous to mention. As physicians we can prescribe medicine for the symptoms of these diseases, but we cannot do much for the underlying cause–emotional turmoil.¹

In his book, Dr. McMillen gives a masterful description of the effects of hate:

The moment I start hating a man, I become his slave. I can’t enjoy my work anymore because he even controls my thoughts. My resentments produce too many stress hormones in my body and I become fatigued after only a few hours of work. The work I formerly enjoyed is now drudgery. Even vacations cease to give me pleasure. I may be in a luxurious car that I drive along a lake fringed with the autumnal beauty of maple, oak, and birch. As far as my experience of pleasure is concerned, I might as well be driving a wagon in mud and rain.

The man I hate hounds me wherever I go. I can’t escape his tyrannical grasp on my mind. When the waiter serves me porterhouse steak with French fries, asparagus, crisp salad, and strawberry shortcake smothered with ice cream, it might as well be stale bread and water. My teeth chew the food and I swallow it, but the man I hate will not permit me to enjoy it…

The man I hate may be many miles from my bedroom; but more cruel than any slave driver, he whips my thoughts into such a frenzy that my innerspring mattress becomes a rack of torture. The lowliest of the serfs can sleep, but not I. I really must acknowledge the fact that I am a slave to every man on whom I pour the vials of my wrath.²

When your body hurts, check your spirit. The pain may be a signal to pay attention to your thoughts and emotions.

I once assumed that pain was always the physician’s territory. But now I ask, When resentment, anger, hatred, and rebellion are involved, are you not in the minister’s territory?

Here is a scripture to think about:

I say then:  Walk in the Spirit, and you shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh.

Galatians 5:16

___________________________

¹S. I. McMillen, None of These Diseases (Waco, TX: Word Books, nd.), 64-65

²Ibid., 73-74.

I was the guest speaker at a church conference and was attending one of those family-style banquets where they pass the platters of food and you eat whatever you want. I was sitting next to the minster of a local church. He filled his plate with a pile of potatoes, smothered it with gravy and all the trimmings, and ate it all. That is not what impressed me. He did it all over again! I could not get my eyes off that second plate.

Finally, he leaned over to me and whispered, “You know, Doc, I am a compulsive eater.”

What was I supposed to say to that? You cannot blame a man for being a compulsive eater, can you? I do not pass this way very often, so I wanted to give him a helpful answer.

I said, “Sir, I think there is a better word for it than that. It is called intemperance.”

That is a provocative thought, is it not?

I continued, “With reference to food, there is even a more drastic word than that – gluttony. There actually is an even more drastic word than that – sin.”

He smiled and finished his plate, but he was stirred up, spurred on, disturbed. I heard from his wife that he was very disturbed. The next time I saw the man was when he invited me to a banquet in his church a year later.

He had slimmed down. In fact, he looked great. There we sat – this time it was the pastor’s opportunity to challenge me. He leaned over me and said, “Doc, you are heavier than you were a year ago.”

I explained, “Yes, I cannot resist all this great food when I’m traveling.”

He said, “There is a better word for it. The word is intemperance, and with reference to food there is even a better word than that. It is gluttony. There is an even better word. It is called sin.”

That fellow stirred me. Whenever I head his way, I think about my eating habits. When I see him, I size him up and he sizes me up.

We need each other. People need to be reminded of what is right and wrong. It takes a happy person communicating these wonderful truths – not an angry, bitter, rebellious individual.

Our goal is to make people conscious of their good qualities and their liabilities. We must help people to realize that life stimulates whatever is in you – good or bad.

This story is taken from Dr. Brandt’s book, “The Power of the Call.” The names and certain details in this true case history have been changed to protect each person’s identity and privacy.

This mother was a sincere Christian, and her teenage daughter had been a continual object of her prayers. She could not get Betty to study, do a chore right, get along with her brother, or even eat properly. It was a mother-daughter battle, and it terribly distressed Mrs. Grant. “It’s been very trying, believe me,” she said. “In coming to you, I thought you might help.”

Probing for the cause of the festering trouble, I asked what her feelings were when Betty disobeyed her.

Impatience, anger, and resentment, she confessed. “But in spite of that,” she hastened to add, “I love my daughter very much. Don’t you think I’ve proved this by the torture I’ve been through in keeping to myself the irritation she causes me?”

I guess I shocked Mrs. Grant when I said, “Your bitter feelings toward Betty prove that you do not love her.”

“How can you say such a thing?” she cried. “Doesn’t it take love to carry a cross?”

I opened my Bible to 1 Corinthians 13 and pointed out God’s description of love: Love is kind … and longsuffering. Kindness and longsuffering are fruit of the Holy Spirit produced within the surrendered Christian, I pointed out.

“Hiding your impatience and resentment does not alter the fact that these are present in your heart,” I told her. “These are not the ingredients of love. These are products of our selfish nature. You may pretend to Betty—and to yourself—that they do not exist, but they do!”

Mrs. Grant was very surprised when I traced her anguish to her efforts to act loving rather than to be loving.

“Do you mean that Betty should be allowed to get away with what she does?” she demanded.

“Not at all,” I answered. “Your daughter’s behavior must be dealt with. But before you can deal with Betty, you must deal with your own inner spirit.”

It was months before Mrs. Grant could completely give up her conviction that if only Betty would behave, Mother would be her own sweet self again. It took some time also for her to understand that if she were truly to love Betty, the impatience and resentment would have to be replaced by patience, kindness, and gentleness.

“I’m not capable of patience,” she said desperately one day. “It is so hard to be kind.”

She was right. What was in her heart just naturally came out. But, I assured her, if she repented of her bitter heart, God was ready to help.

She finally dropped her defense and asked God to give her the love she lacked. She discovered God gives all the overflowing love He is asked for, and she could deal with Betty in love, whether or not her daughter responded.

Not surprisingly, Betty did respond and their home is now the happy Christian one it should be.

The names and certain details in this true case history have been changed to protect each person’s identity and privacy.

The boss took credit for a thing if it worked, and if it didn’t, he blamed Bart, who thought it only natural that he had grown to dislike the boss.

One day, a man in Bart’s department made a foolish mistake and the big boss said the man was through. He ordered Bart to do the hatchet job. Bart was furious.

He stormed into the office of his boss and began to chew him out for “cluttering up our perfectly good design.” That was a mistake. Bart was shifted to another department. He found his new boss was not a tinkerer, but this man was a driver. He pushed Bart to work faster. Bart was in the same old tense rut, reacting angrily to his boss.

Slowly, he began wondering if maybe something wasn’t wrong with him. He decided to let an outside ear listen in on his problems. So he visited the Christian Counseling Clinic. Over a period of weeks he vented his story. The more he talked, the more he saw that whenever he was asked to do something he didn’t agree with he began nursing a new grudge. “What’s the matter with me?” he asked.

As a Christian who knew the Bible quite intimately, he was able to answer his own question. “The Bible says, ‘Whatsoever you do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men’ (Colossians 3:23). I’ve been working for myself and for men, not for God.”

Mr. Nolan could see that he had acquired the habit of sulking if things didn’t go his way. He asked God to help him realize his superiors did have a right to give orders. If he did not think the orders were correct, he could express his opinion. But having done so, he knew the final decision was not his to make.

Bart Nolan experienced many starts and stops in his new attitude. But over the months, he became a genial man. Knowing the boss would insist on having his way, he studied the boss’ ways so he could produce what was expected.

Now Bart knows that God helps him do his work “heartily, as to the Lord.” The result is a growing contentment in the same work that once upset him.

[The names and certain details in this true case history have been changed to protect each person’s identity and privacy.]

[Go to Discover Inner Peace]

They started out their marriage on a shoestring. Bill had a bread route and worked long hours to make a meager living.

One of Bill’s customers was a fruit farmer. This man offered Bill the chance to find customers for his produce. Bill took up the challenge and managed to find a market for the whole summer’s production.

An idea began to take shape in Bill’s mind. Why not do the same thing for other farmers? Twelve years later, he had developed his idea into a vast wholesale produce business including a whole network of processing plants and warehouses.

The Stantons had not neglected their commitment to the Lord. Both were happily active in the church. Bill even served as a leader on a statewide level for their denomination.

Bill and Jan did a lot of entertaining in their beautiful home. Frequently they spent pleasant evenings around the pool or the fireplace with their guests. Many of their friends would turn to them for advice and counsel.

Bill’s business demanded much of his time. But Jan didn’t mind; she was busy with her family, her home, and her church work.

Skiing was one of their favorite pastimes. The family had many happy outings at a variety of ski resorts.

On one of these outings when Jan and the children went skiing, Jan had an accident and ended up with a badly broken leg. When Bill returned from a business trip two days later, he was shocked to learn that his wife was in the hospital.

Jan spent many weeks in the hospital with her leg in a cast. Bill dropped in to see her each day and in the evening. Both understood that his business demanded that he be away part of each week. The days in the hospital were long and lonesome. Jan began feeling blue. The doctor explained that this was normal for a healthy, busy woman.

Finally the cast was removed, only to find that the leg had not healed properly. Jan began having long periods of depression.

On occasion, after Jan came home, Bill would take the children to the ski slopes. Jan stayed behind, nursing her leg, and her depression. It was late spring before her leg was completely healed. But the sieges of depression hung on. Summer faded into fall, and still Jan would spend long days feeling sad, breaking into tears for no apparent reason. By now, the doctor informed her that her accident could not be considered as the reason for her misery.

When Bill heard this, he became impatient with Jan. ”Snap out of it. You have every reason to be content,” he told her one day.

The beautiful home and lovely wooded yard was no help. Jan lost interest in her church work. Long silences developed between her and Bill. He would find reasons for staying at the office or for being out of town.

There were tender moments when the Stantons could talk about their situation. They were embarrassed. For years they had prided themselves that they had such a happy marriage. Now their marriage was a sad one.

It seemed that there was no way out. Finally, they swallowed their pride and ended up in my office. They spent the first session telling me how happy they had been together.

We spent several more sessions talking about their problem. Our conversation centered around their happiness together. We were getting nowhere.

I asked Jan to come in without her husband. Both of them resisted this idea. They would work this out together, they said. There was nothing to hide.

We were at a standstill. I had nothing more to offer, and could see no reason for us to continue.

Several weeks later, Jan called. She was ready to see me without her husband. Once more she reviewed the happiness they had enjoyed.

As we closed the session, I asked Jan to look at a warning and a promise in the Bible: ”If we say we have fellowship with Him (God), and walk in darkness, we lie, and do not know the truth: but if we walk in the light, as He is in the light, we have fellowship one with another, and the blood of Jesus Christ His Son cleanses us from all sin” (1 John 1:6-7).

We turned to John 3:19. Here, I pointed out, Jesus says that men love darkness rather than light because their deeds are evil.

Jan had to admit her life was dark. She was gloomy. Something was wrong. We must look at the dark side.

She was crushed. There was no dark side, she insisted.

We prayed together. My prayer was that she would do as the Psalmist said: ”Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts: and see if there be any wicked way in me and lead me in the way everlasting” (Ps. 139:23, 24).

As the two of them continued with the counseling process, the true picture became clear. Jan was an affectionate person and liked to show it. Bill was more distant. He preferred to sit across the room from her. As the business grew, he became increasingly preoccupied. Sometimes she found herself wondering if he loved her or his fruit. Her complaint festered and grew when she was in the hospital. There she really played second fiddle to the business. She was shocked at her attitude and tried desperately to cover it up rather than admit it.

Bill was also shocked. He thought of himself as a devoted, loving husband who provided the best for his family. But it was true; he was giving them everything but himself.

Bill was not glad to know about his wife’s true feelings. He resented her attitude. They quarreled about it. It seemed that the weeks of counseling only made matters worse. But quarreling did not brush away the truth. He was giving his business more and more of his time and energy, and giving his family less and less.

Proverbs 28:13 is true. “He that covers his sins shall not prosper: but whoever confesses and forsakes them shall have mercy.”

It’s always hard to admit the dark side of truth. But light drives away the darkness if you walk in it.

It was true. They did resent each other. He felt she did not appreciate his efforts. She felt neglected. Each felt the other was wrong. When the light dawned, and each of them was able to acknowledge their own sins repentantly, they were on the way to restored fellowship.

Repentance always leads to forgiveness and renewal of fellowship. It’s always been that way.

The names and certain details in this true case history have been changed to protect each person’s identity and privacy.

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