The couple would plan to go to a Sunday school class party or a family gathering, but Marilyn would beg off at the last minute. She just wasn’t up to socializing. Charles would feel sorry for her, change the evening’s plans and stay home. After several weeks of staying home, he would become blue. Then she would feel guilty for causing him to give up his social life and she would start going out. But he knew she was doing it just for him, so he would feel guilty and stay home more. It was a vicious circle, actually a battle of wills, his versus hers.

At her first appointment, nothing in the world seemed good to Marilyn. I remarked that she was a miserable woman.

“Oh, I’m a Christian,” she replied. “And I’ve got a nice husband, a good home, and a fine church. I suppose I should be happy.”

“No,” I assured her. “It’s your choice to be miserable in spite of all the good things in your life.”

Over a three-month period, Marilyn slowly disclosed how she was gradually withdrawing from life. The home she was raised in had been one of constant distress; she always seemed to be in the middle of combative parents. She learned it was easier to duck than to take the chance of getting hurt. This protective attitude had carried over into her married life. Now it was simpler to stay home rather than risk being hurt.

One day, Marilyn decided to stop ducking. She said she was going to ask God for help to accept her husband’s social life.

For three months, she was a happy Christian. Then she came back, depressed again.

I helped her see that she was depressed because she changed her mind about wanting to venture out. Again, she cast her burden on the Lord and went away rejoicing. But after awhile she returned, defeated as before.

Her moods continually alternate. She knows how to turn her troubles over to the Lord, and she has proved that it works. But I am afraid that she hasn’t yet taken to heart Jesus’ words in John 15:4, “Abide in me.” Hers is not a daily walk with the Lord. Alternately she casts her burdens on the Lord and takes them upon herself. She empties them out and then slowly collects them again.

To “abide” is to enjoy Christ’s victory over self. We must consistently depend on God in order to consistently experience Him. He can and will live in us if we allow His Spirit to work in us.

The names and certain details in this true case history have been changed to protect each person’s identity and privacy.

Embarrassing practical jokes, jibes at his youthfulness, and little grins that came to faces because he was the school’s first male music teacher—all this teasing kept up. Word got back to him some of the students and parents were saying he wouldn’t dare subject his piano-playing hands to a real man’s work.

One Friday night, he drove a busload of church kids to a weekend retreat. Three girls sitting near him began to tease him. ”What will your mother say if you get calluses on your hands?” one asked mischievously.

That did it. Fred Baker stopped the bus. In white-hot temper, he lectured the girl for five minutes in front of the other students. He ranted and raved about every injustice he felt he endured from his students. The girl just happened to be the daughter of a school-board member, so it didn’t take Fred long to realize the seriousness of what he had done.

He came to see me during the winter break. Why, he asked, had he exploded? A little more, he said, and he might have hit her.

I encouraged him to sort out his feelings toward himself as well as others. Upon some reflection, he found he had a sense of personal inadequacy. It upset him that some people looked disapprovingly at music as a way for a man to make a living, and because of it, he sometimes had doubts of his manliness. He seemed to show this uncertainty in his performance, and so people did not enjoy his music.

Along with the difficulty of accepting his life work, he was annoyed by people. If the choir did not respond to his direction, or if the young people were disorderly, he got angry. However, he struggled to swallow the jibes and keep his gripes to himself. But swallowing disagreeable situations is not a palatable diet; it made him a surly, scolding, defensive young man, and this spurred on his tormentors.

I had to help him realize his uncertainty over his choice of work. We weighed the pros and cons of music and looked at musicians whom he admired, and he saw that music was an honorable profession. Then it became a matter of committing his work to the Lord so his thoughts concerning it could be established (Proverbs 16:3). He went back to finish the term with a new confidence and optimism. Instead of swallowing the jibes and stewing, he let them bounce off. The teasing diminished and, to his surprise, soon died out.

After Fred began to accept himself for what he was, it became easier for him to accept others. Slowly the relationships with his students and the people at church turned into mutual appreciation. At the end of the semester, he and the school board happily signed a new contract.

[The names and certain details in this true case history have been changed to protect each person’s identity and privacy.]

[Go to Discover Inner Peace]

Ken quit school in the tenth grade to work as a messenger boy in the office of a big factory. He was determined to do better than his dad and to provide properly for his family.

He met Megan, and they seemed meant for each other. He was 19 years old and she was 18 when they were married. They both worked hard to furnish a little apartment.

A few months later, Ken went off to war, and three lonely years went by. Ken came back and found Megan waiting for him in their lovely apartment. It was easy to resume their life together.

Megan had come from a close-knit, happy family. Stability and dependability were taken for granted in her life. The war years were good to Ken in that he had learned to be a machinist in the navy. He got a skilled job in the factory where he had worked before the war. Ken did just what he said he would do—provide a proper home for his family.

Ken became foreman of a large milling machine department, responsible for the supervision of more than 100 men. He had 17 years seniority, a good pension plan, prospects for promotion, a home on one of the nicer streets in town, membership in a good church, and a host of Christian friends. Then it happened. His company was having trouble in sales. His department was cut to 15 men. But his boss assured Ken that his job was safe.

Then one day, the boss called Ken into his office and said, “Ken, things don’t look good. In order to economize, we must combine two departments. You still can have a job here if you want to go back to running a machine.”

What a blow! Megan came to the rescue and emphasized that this was not a matter of Ken’s doing a poor job. With her encouragement, he regained his balance and worked hard again at the machine.

Then came another blow: the plant went bankrupt. Along with it went Ken’s job, his seniority, and his pension plan.

Ken was stunned. As he sat in my office, he was a picture of complete dejection. His wife met with me previously and shared their story. She had persuaded him to come, but he had no desire to talk. He was a tough man, and it was pathetic to see an occasional tear run down his cheek.

Since he wouldn’t talk, I asked his wife to join us and I said to both of them, “Let me give you something to think about. You are Christians. You love God and His Word. Consider this in His Word, “Whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things'” (Philippians 4:8). Then I read part of the story of Jonah to them; the part where Jonah was mad at God.

“That’s easy for you, sitting behind that desk,” Ken retorted when I had finished.

I could say little more to him, but when Ken came for his next appointment, he was a changed man. “I don’t need to see you anymore! You were right. I was good and mad at God, just like Jonah. I have asked God to forgive me and show me the next step. I know He will. What a relief to renew my trust in Him.”

We parted on this note: “Trust in the Lord with all your heart; and lean not unto your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will direct your paths. Be not wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord, and depart from evil” (Proverbs 3:5-7).

A devoted, dedicated wife, and a sure faith in God led Ken out of his dilemma.

The names and certain details in this true case history have been changed to protect each person’s identity and privacy.

Goals bring life into focus.
They give meaning and purpose to life.

The Bible says:

“For we must all appear afore the judgment seat of Christ, that each one may be recompensed for his deeds done in the body, according to what he has done, whether good or bad” (2 Corinthians 5:10).

In the long run, we will all see Jesus and give an account of how we managed these bodies of ours. He has given us instructions for living, and we will be evaluated on the basis of them. We will do well to prepare for that day.

King Solomon, who tried everything under the sun, came to the following conclusion:

“The conclusion, when all has been heard, is: fear God and keep His commandments, because this applies to every person. Because God will bring every act to judgment, everything which is hidden, whether it is good or evil” (Ecclesiastes 12:13-14).

We tend to get involved with people, activities, and things with a great surge of energy and pleasurable expectations. Anticipation fans our expectations. Our hope is that reaching an objective will result in great satisfaction and pleasure. Then, after several months or years of effort, we end up disillusioned.

Here are some goals that should satisfy, but don’t:

• Making money
• Acquiring things
• Building your own business
• Retiring with a good pension
• A trim figure
• Using talent and ability
• Marriage
• Parenthood

These are all good goals. Everyone must make a living and provide for his future. We all need to do what is necessary to maintain health and use our own talents and abilities. Who would quarrel with having marriage and a happy family life as a goal? Surely everyone who has worked until age 65 or 70 is entitled to an easy retirement.

However, if you know and keep the commandments, it means that in the process of making a living, making money, acquiring an estate, using your talent, staying fit, maintaining a marriage and a family, you do it all in a way that pleases Jesus, whom you love and who one day will evaluate you.

Everyone must live out life every day. How should we conduct ourselves in the process? Look at some Bible verses:

Not every one who says to Me, ”Lord, Lord,” will enter the kingdom of heaven; but he who does the will of My Father who is in heaven (Matthew 7:21).

Seek first His kingdom and His righteousness; and all these things shall be added to you (Matthew 6:33).

For the kingdom of God is not eating and drinking, but righteousness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit. For he who in this way serves Christ is acceptable to God and approved of men (Romans 14:17-18).

He has told you, O man, what is good; and what does the LORD require of you but to do justice, to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God (Micah 6:8).

The Creator of the universe is interested in what manner of person we are. He also wants us to entrust the people in our lives and the events of our lives into His hands. We can do everything possible to make things come out as we judge they should, knowing however, that our thoughts are not His thoughts, neither are our ways His ways.

Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight (Proverbs 3:5-6).

I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am. I know how to get along with humble means, and I also know how to live in prosperity; in any and every circumstance I have learned the secret of being filled and going hungry, both of having abundance and suffering need. I can do all things through Him who strengthens me (Philippians 4:11-13).

In God I have put my trust, I shall not be afraid. What can man do to me? (Psalm 56:11).

Cast your burden upon the LORD, and He will sustain you; He will never allow the righteous to be shaken (Psalm 55:22).

Before the crisis comes, when all is peaceful, you can commit your ways and your loved ones into His hands. Because it is not a question of if some crisis will come. It’s a matter of when it will come. You must be ready.

Jesus once told his disciples: “Whoever wishes to become great among you shall be your servant; and whoever wishes to be first among you shall be slave of all. For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life a ransom for many” (Mark 10:43-45).

The happy physician, dentist, counselor, lawyer, builder, banker, husband, wife, father, or mother is the one who gives himself completely to the task. There may be rewards or there may not be. There may be appreciation or there may not be. A servant doesn’t perform services for rewards or appreciation. He serves in Jesus’ name and for His sake. He gives because he is a servant.

Everyone must make a living, provide for the future, maintain health, use his talents and abilities, and associate with family and friends. Doing these things causes a weariness of the flesh, unless you set proper goals.

• Grow in your knowledge of the commandments.
• Live righteously, peacefully, justly; love kindness; have a pure heart; take mistreatment patiently.
• Trust God to guide you and trust Him to bring people and events into and out of your life.
• Have the spirit of a servant; lose your life for Jesus’ sake and the gospel’s.

“To sum up, let all be harmonious, sympathetic, brotherly, kindhearted, and humble in spirit; not returning evil for evil, or insult for insult, but giving a blessing instead; for you were called for the very purpose that you might inherit a blessing” (1 Peter 3:8-9).

This is an excerpt of chapter 9 from Dr. Brandt’s book, I Want Happiness Now!, currently available as an e-book.

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Paul follows up the principle of “Rejoice always” with “Pray without ceasing.” Give your days and situations to God, believing He is with you and trusting Him in every circumstance.

Paul then adds a third principle, “In everything give thanks.” In everything? Yes, because “this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.”

Reading these principles, you may be wondering, “Am I really expected to do all these things?” If you are seeking contentment, the answer is a resounding ”Yes!” Choosing to practice these principles will give you the peace you are looking for.

One example of finding peace and contentment through God’s principles can be found in the words of a man speaking at his wife’s funeral.

“I’m not hopeless,” he said. “I’ve got joy and peace in my heart. It comes from God and it’s available in a time like this. It’s found in Colossians 2, starting with verse six. ‘So then, just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live in him, rooted and built up in him, strengthened in the faith as you were taught, and overflowing with thankfulness.’ (NIV).

The traditions of men say that in a time like this, you should be distraught, and upset. You should feel like the end of the world has come. You should be miserable. That’s the tradition of men. But, if you bear in mind the Word of God; it says rejoice all the time. Pray all the time. In everything give thanks. I’ve tapped that resource, and it can be yours too. How? By not worrying about the outcome of anything, but instead, putting your trust in God.”

What a testimony!

You can make a choice that you will live your life by God’s principles. You can rejoice all of the time, and pray all the time, and be filled with thanksgiving all of the time, if you remember to trust God and His Word during each day.

Read 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18; Colossians 2:6-8

Take a step . . .
Memorize 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 or Colossians 2:6-8. Apply the principles of the passage you memorize to every situation you encounter daily for the next week.

This devotion is from Dr. Brandt’s message The Secret to Happiness.

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