“Give me a call–anytime,” he would say cheerfully to everyone visiting his office. Or, “You’ve got to come over to the house and tell me more about it.”

Some people took him up on his offers of hospitality. And there was the rub! His friendliness was an act. He didn’t really mean for business associates to call him–let alone drop in at his home. He was just making conversation.

Whenever trapped, he always had a way of getting out.

“I’d be glad to stop by some night,” a client would say in response to his invitation. “How about Thursday?”

“Sounds fine. But let me check with my wife’s plans and call you,” Charles would say. Not for a minute did he intend to have this guy taking up his evening.

The next day he would telephone the client to apologize. “Sorry, but my wife’s got me tied up with the PTA Thursday night. Let me contact you later.”

Why did he invite people to call or visit him? It was the polite thing to do. Why did he then lie to the one he had invited? He did not want to hurt anyone’s feelings.

But occasionally, Charles Cook could not get out of his self-made trap. He would have to play the role of genial host to people he did not like. His acting was superb. But what a distasteful way of life! Is there any wonder that he was an anxious, uneasy man? “Bread gained by deceit is sweet to a man, but afterward his mouth will be filled with gravel” (Proverbs 20:17).

Charles Cook imagined himself a cordial and polite individual because he sounded like one. But by his rationalization, he was covering up a basic dislike of people and had fooled even himself into thinking he was a congenial man.

He needed to face the fact that his geniality was only a front. But to deceive even himself was easier than squaring up with the truth. Yet he could not get away with his duplicity. “For as he thinks in his heart, so is he” (Proverbs 23:7).

Charles had to make up his mind what he wanted in life–whether to be around people or not. If he wanted to accept others, he would need a change of heart. Whatever his decision, if he was to be free of his anxiety, his behavior had to be changed to match the desire of his heart.

This story is taken from Dr. Brandt’s book, “The Struggle for Inner Peace.” The names and certain details in this true case history have been changed to protect each person’s identity and privacy.

One such pattern, rationalization, is a process whereby one justifies their conduct. By using it, a person gives themselves good reasons for doing bad things.

Lying, for example, can be called tact or diplomacy. Obviously, anyone ought to be tactfully or diplomatically or lovingly honest. But deception is a sin. It is easy to convince oneself that to do right is wrong, and to do wrong is right. Isaiah wrote, “Woe to those who call evil good, and good evil” (Isaiah 5:20).

Who has not faced the desire to do something that his better self tells him is not right, but still does it anyway? An example is exceeding the speed limit. “I’m late getting home and I don’t want to worry my wife,” a speeding driver will say. It is a good enough excuse. But looking squarely at the facts, few persons would accept this reasoning as valid for breaking the law.

Most persons are at least vaguely aware of inconsistencies in their lives. It is hard not to rationalize them. How difficult we find it to get down to reality and face conflicts, or to harmonize disagreements. We dislike being shown up, having our pride injured, or having our true selves exposed.

Rationalization can become a subtle habit of the inner life. Dishonesty and deception can, in time, become so easy to live with that you can fool yourself into believing whatever you want to believe.

Deception violates a biblical standard. “Lying lips are an abomination to the Lord, but those who deal truthfully are His delight” (Proverbs 12:22). “May the Lord cut off all flattering lips, and the tongue that speaks proud things” (Psalm 12:3). “We are meant to hold firmly to the truth in love, and to grow up in every way into Christ, the head” (Ephesians 4:15).

If you form the habit of ignoring facts, brushing aside the truth, or making things come out to suit yourself, you will react in just these ways when a serious crisis comes into your life. You cannot rationalize the small decisions and then expect to make the major decisions in good, unfettered judgment. By practice, you can become an expert at dodging issues or at facing them frankly and honestly.

The biblical standard of dealing only in truth is not designed to be a nuisance to the one who would abide by it. Rather it is the pathway to peace. Rationalization, on the other hand, will thwart your progress in life.

The key to inner peace is self-discovery. The method is to forsake the wrongs you discover. “He who covers his sins will not prosper, but whoever confesses and forsakes them will have mercy” (Proverbs 28:13).

This information is an excerpt of chapter 5 from Dr. Brandt’s book, The Struggle for Inner Peace, currently available as an e-book.

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But what about the feuds and struggles that exist among you-where do you suppose they come from? Can’t you see that they arise from conflicting passions within yourselves? You crave for something and don’t get it; you are murderously jealous of what others have got and which you can’t possess yourselves; you struggle and fight with one another. You don’t get what you want because you don’t ask God for it. And when you do ask He doesn’t give it to you, for you ask in quite the wrong spirit–you only want to satisfy your own desires (James 4:1-3).

Reproof, however, is good – like the surgeon’s scalpel or the dentist’s drill. The process is painful, but the result is health.

In human relations, it appears more sensible – at least easier – to ignore one’s own fault or that of another. But the results are strained relations, strife, discord, and personal misery. A simple, effective alternative is, “If we walk in the light as He [God] is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus Christ His Son cleanses us from all sin” (1 John 1:7).

As the truth about you emerges from some probing stimulus, you will either face it directly or turn from it. You will mellow or harden, depending on what you choose to do about your discovery.
John wrote in his first epistle:

If we refuse to admit that we are sinners, then we live in a world of illusion and truth becomes a stranger to us. But if we freely admit that we have sinned, we find God utterly reliable and straightforward–He forgives our sins and makes us thoroughly clean from all that is evil. For if we take up the attitude, “we have not sinned,” we flatly deny God’s diagnosis of our condition and cut ourselves off from what He has to say to us (1 John 1:8-10).

You will get fleeting glimpses of your true self (and sometimes a very clear picture) as you interact with other people, as you read the Bible, and as the ministry of others touches your life. The natural reaction is to shrink away from your findings. But you need not run from yourself and thereby add trouble on trouble. The resources of heaven are yours to apply against the character defects you discover. Jesus died to forgive your sins:

“In whom we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of sins” (Colossians 1:14).

Furthermore, God will give you daily strength if you let Him:

“Present yourselves to God as being alive from the dead, and your members as instruments of righteousness to God. For sin shall not have dominion over you, for you are not under law but under grace” (Romans 6:13-14).

“But now having been set free from sin, and having become slaves of God, you have your fruit to holiness, and the end, everlasting life” (Romans 6:22).

“The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, long-suffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control” (Galatians 5:22-23).

This information is an excerpt of chapter 3 from Dr. Brandt’s book, The Struggle for Inner Peace, currently available as an e-book.

Want more? Click here…

>> Find life-changing insights arranged topically by need

>> Listen to dynamic audio messages by Dr. Brandt

>> Experience freedom and healing from sin problems