“Three years ago I was bedridden. I had a half-dozen things wrong with my body. I just lay in my room, disgusted with God that He should allow such misery to come to one who had served Him as I had. My only consolation was the radio. One day your counseling program came on. You spoke about the importance of forgiving those who had wronged us. You quoted Matthew 6:15, ‘But if you forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.’ ‘Of course,’ I said to myself, ‘he’s no doubt young and healthy and has everything going for him. Nothing ever happened to him like it has to me. It’s easy for him to forgive.’ The following week, I was determined not to listen to you, but I did. You said that unforgiveness can cause misery for the one who refuses to forgive. You quoted from James 3:14 and 16, ‘But if you have bitter envying and strife in your hearts, glory not … for where envying and strife is there is confusion and every evil work.’ I yelled at my wife to turn that radio off. In the silence that followed, those words continued to resound in my soul. I have never experienced such anguish. When it came time for your program the next week, somehow I couldn’t keep the radio off. That time your Scripture was Isaiah 32:17, ‘And the work of righteousness will be peace; and the effect of righteousness will be quietness and assurance forever.’ I was a wretched man, but a thoughtful one, when you finished speaking that day. ‘What he says is from the Lord,’ I told myself. ‘The strife and confusion that he spoke about certainly describes me – and I have no peace or quietness, so where is my righteousness?’

I have a son and daughter, both married. Their two families entered business together, but by dishonest means one family wrestled the business from the other. Bitterness flared in my heart toward the guilty pair. I said I could never forgive the evil deeds that brought so much turmoil to my home. But there on my sickbed after the third broadcast, I began to see that by refusing to forgive, I was hurting only myself. I cried out to God to forgive me. In my heart, I forgave my children. I committed the whole matter to God. Eventually, the wrong was made right, but it wasn’t this happy development that brought me health again. My crippling ailments disappeared when my bitterness was taken away. That is what forgiveness did in my life.”

The names and certain details in this true case history have been changed to protect each person’s identity and privacy.

The boss took credit for a thing if it worked, and if it didn’t, he blamed Bart, who thought it only natural that he had grown to dislike the boss.

One day, a man in Bart’s department made a foolish mistake and the big boss said the man was through. He ordered Bart to do the hatchet job. Bart was furious.

He stormed into the office of his boss and began to chew him out for “cluttering up our perfectly good design.” That was a mistake. Bart was shifted to another department. He found his new boss was not a tinkerer, but this man was a driver. He pushed Bart to work faster. Bart was in the same old tense rut, reacting angrily to his boss.

Slowly, he began wondering if maybe something wasn’t wrong with him. He decided to let an outside ear listen in on his problems. So he visited the Christian Counseling Clinic. Over a period of weeks he vented his story. The more he talked, the more he saw that whenever he was asked to do something he didn’t agree with he began nursing a new grudge. “What’s the matter with me?” he asked.

As a Christian who knew the Bible quite intimately, he was able to answer his own question. “The Bible says, ‘Whatsoever you do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men’ (Colossians 3:23). I’ve been working for myself and for men, not for God.”

Mr. Nolan could see that he had acquired the habit of sulking if things didn’t go his way. He asked God to help him realize his superiors did have a right to give orders. If he did not think the orders were correct, he could express his opinion. But having done so, he knew the final decision was not his to make.

Bart Nolan experienced many starts and stops in his new attitude. But over the months, he became a genial man. Knowing the boss would insist on having his way, he studied the boss’ ways so he could produce what was expected.

Now Bart knows that God helps him do his work “heartily, as to the Lord.” The result is a growing contentment in the same work that once upset him.

[The names and certain details in this true case history have been changed to protect each person’s identity and privacy.]

[Go to Discover Inner Peace]

In the course of five years, Calvin had come to wonder whether a commitment to the Lord actually meant anything. The inconsistencies he observed made him wonder.

“I think I’ve had all the Christianity I want,” he added.

About a year after he learned of his uncle’s double standard of living, Lane was even more shaken by an act of his pastor. The minister who had been his Christian ideal for many years was arrested on charges of embezzlement.

He often thought about his uncle and the pastor, but did not permit his disillusionment to deter him from entering the Lord’s work. He became bookkeeper for a Christian service organization. He found happiness in the things the organization did in the name of Christ.

After three years, Calvin Lane was made personnel director. This put him into the inner circle. The jealousies and intrigue he discovered there brought all his old disillusionment back.

“If we’re going to live like the world, why weigh ourselves down with Christian ethics?” he asked.

I had to admit that there are hypocrites in the church – and once-sincere persons who have drifted from God’s ways. “The Apostle Peter was one of these,” I said, “and Judas betrayed Christ. None of the Twelve was an ardent follower in Christ’s great hour of trial. But Jesus never said to put your trust in a disciple.”

I referred him to Romans 14:12, “So then every one of us will give account of himself to God.” That helped him let go of his bitter attitude. He saw that he had been judging Christianity by phonies. When he accepted his own responsibility—which was his relationship to God—he dedicated himself anew to serving the Lord.

On the other side of the coin, the unchristian lives of many Christians that nearly caused this young man to abandon his faith should make every believer search his life to see if he dares say with the Apostle Paul in Philippians 4:9, “Those things, which you have both learned, and received and heard, and seen in me, do.”

The names and certain details in this true case history have been changed to protect each person’s identity and privacy.

Maybe you struggle with some of these emotions, feeling you have a right to them because of how you’ve been treated. But Ephesians goes on to say, “Be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake has forgiven you.”

Now being kind and forgiving someone is extremely difficult when your feelings aren’t so loving! However, at some point, even though you may not want to, you decide to try to love the one who has mistreated you. To your surprise, you discover that it doesn’t work! You can control what you say, the way you look at them, and the way you behave, but you can’t control your feelings. Why is that?

2 Corinthians 3:5-6 gives us an answer: “Not that we are sufficient of ourselves to think any thing as of ourselves; but our sufficiency is of God; Who also hath made us able ministers of the new testament; not of the letter, but of the Spirit, for the letter killeth, but the Spirit giveth life.” So yes, you can possibly control your behavior, and the way you talk, but you can’t control your spirit. The Christian life isn’t a matter of self-improvement, or will power, or determination, it’s a matter of a changed heart, and only God can change your heart!

Ask God to change your heart!

Take a step . . .
Ask God in prayer to show you the real condition of your heart. Admit to Him your wrong emotions, desires, and selfishness. Tell Him you’re sorry and ask Him to forgive and cleanse you. Ask Him to help you to submit to Him and to fill your heart with kindness, tenderheartedness, forgiveness, and love.

This summary is from Dr. Brandt’s message entitled Marriage.

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Have emotions such as anger, resentment, hate, hostility, bitterness and revenge entered your heart and mind? Have you become filled with an unforgiving spirit?

Unforgiveness can be a hidden disease. It can make you a prisoner within yourself.

The Bible says “If you forgive men their trespasses, your Heavenly Father will forgive you. If you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Heavenly Father forgive your trespasses” (Matthew 6:14-15, KJV).

That may seem harsh. But why shouldn’t God expect you to forgive those who have offended you, when He has forgiven you of so much?

Choosing to forgive is a choice of your will. When you make that choice your heart is then open and ready for the Lord’s cleansing.

Choosing not to forgive is also a choice of your will. But the door of your heart is then shut and God will not do His cleansing work.

When an unforgiving spirit lives inside you, it isn’t bothering those who have wronged you. They’ve gone on their way. But you are still holding onto something that has taken control of your thoughts, actions, and words. It eats away at you like a poisonous cancer, and you find yourself bound, with no peace. In reality, you are punishing yourself.

But to forgive in your own power is futile, because your heart must first be cleansed of all the things that unforgiveness creates. Only Jesus can make that happen. He laid down His life and shed His blood to give us the gift of salvation and clean up our hearts. Through Him, there is freedom and victory.

God says “Come unto Me, all you that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest” (Matthew 11:28, KJV). Isn’t rest what we long for when filled with the torture of an unforgiving spirit?

According to 1 John 1:9, ”If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness” (KJV). So why not invite Christ into your heart? Cast your cares upon Him. Let Him do the cleansing. Let Him take that unforgiving spirit out of your heart and give you a new heart with a forgiving spirit. You could pray a prayer like this: “Lord Jesus, forgive me for bearing a grudge toward the person who has wronged me. Come into my heart, take control of my life. Cleanse me of this unforgiving spirit, and fill me with a forgiving spirit.”

One man who prayed a similar prayer said, “I’ve got peace in my heart, and I’ve got love in my heart for those who have wronged me. One of the greatest possessions I own now is a forgiving heart.” His burden had been surrendered, and freedom was his.

Take a step . . .

Are you harboring an unforgiving spirit? What’s preventing you from letting it go? Remember, your unwillingness to forgive is harming you far more than the person who has made you angry. Give it to God and ask Him to cleanse your heart and free you to experience His love and grace.

This is a summary of Dr. Brandt’s message The Power of Forgiveness.

Want more? Click here…

> Find life-changing insights arranged topically by need

> Listen to dynamic audio messages by Dr. Brandt

> Experience freedom and healing from sin problems